My Date With Paula Creamer
By Kickntrue on 1/21/08
I knew Paula Creamer was going to be at the 2008 PGA Merchandise Show. I knew I may be able to meet her. What I wasn't sure of was how to get her to notice me. Her interpretation of "our date" may differ from mine, but until she tells me different, this is how it went...
All good ideas need an execution plan. My idea took shape at 11pm the night before Paula was going to be making her appearance as Kevin and I drove by a Wal-Mart. A pack of iron-on letters and a pink polo shirt later we were on our way. Paula's nickname is "The Pink Panther" so we felt that was the color that was going to win her heart. Sure, I felt a bit odd wearing a pink shirt, especially one so light-pink but I knew it was key to making her fall for me.
If anyone who works at Wal-Mart is reading this- could you please offer more of a selection of men's pink shirts? We really only had one choice and the pink wasn't quite as bold as we would've liked. That said- the iron-on heart sparkles were brilliant. I knew Paula wouldn't be able to resist me.
The next morning, I woke up bright and early to perform the crucial ironing procedure. I'm sure to be a fly on the wall would've been pretty great as Kevin and I huddled over the ironing board making sure the letters were perfect. It felt pretty weird ironing with another man, but sometimes you have to step out of your comfort zone to get things you want.
Paula was making her appearance at the Sundog Eyewear booth to announce and show off her new sunglasses line for 2008. When one of the Sundog reps working in the booth saw my shirt they brought me to meet some of the people working the booth. The lady who grabbed my hand and started dragging me to the front said she wanted me to meet someone and show them my shirt. Of course I initially thought this was my big one-on-one moment with Paula, but it turned out I was just meeting some of the Sundog guys. They were pretty cool guys, but they were still dudes. I wasn't there to meet dudes. There were also a lot of stares from other men competing for Paula's attention around the convention center. There were even people spreading rumors to try to make the crowd dissipate. Someone said Tiger Woods was there. I heard someone else say that Ping was giving away free drivers. Some crazy guy even tried to get me to get out of line by saying Omarosa from The Apprentice was signing autographs, as if that would work (I later found out that one was true).
Patience is a Virtue
Can you believe they actually made wait in line like the rest of the schlubs? I was sort of hiding the fact that I was at the event as media because I didn't want my status to cloud her emotions for me. I wanted her for fall for me as I was- not some famous media member. :)
Paula actually saw me for the first time before it was my turn to meet her. I felt a little bad for the guy who was in front of me because she ignored him to smile at me. I can't feel that bad though, why would she want to look at him when she had me waiting? That's why I got the date and he didn't. I actually had to tell her to wait her turn to get a piece of me- just so the guy in front of me wouldn't be mad. I was talking to him in line- he seemed cool enough... just not as cool as me.
Meeting MomWhen I met Paula I mentioned that she was my golfer crush of the moment but that Anna Rawson was quickly gaining on her because she gave me an interview. I'm hoping that this fact will make her want to do an interview with me later. She said she thinks she's a better crush object than Rawson. (One thing I should teach you about relationships is that girls love competition and want to be the most wanted. I'm sure she'll be practically begging me for an interview soon.)
Paula even had me meet her mom. She was sitting on a chair hiding behind one of the desks at the booth. I shook her hand and tried to charm her with me good looks and sharp wit. The crowd around us laughed pretty hard because I was sucking up to her so much, but I didn't mind. I'm smart enough to know getting in good with mom is a good thing to do. Paula wanted me to meet her father who was also running around the show somewhere, but I remembered that he is a former pilot in the Navy so I quickly ran away telling Paula I would call her later (probably never will). You know it's going good when you get in good with Mom, but when you start meeting Dad on the first date, you know you've got trouble.
Paula begged to have her picture taken with me so I was cool with it. I would've preferred if our first date had been a little more private but that's just part of the life I'm going to have to get used to when going on dates with celebrities. She insisted that she sign my shirt in a last ditch effort that I would not forget about her. Her handwriting was pretty good and girly which I consider highly when picking a girlfriend. I'll have to wait and see how I feel in a couple days to see if I'll call her. There is some kind of rule about that sort of thing or something, but I lost my rulebook.
PGA Show 2009?
* As a final (and more serious note) I want to say that it really was cool meeting Paula and I hope she does agree to do an interview with oobgolf. We love the LPGA and think she is a great part of where they are headed as an organization. We had the privilege of sitting in a round table discussion/press conference with LPGA Commissioner Carolyn Bivens and it was very cool to hear what is going on with that Tour and where they have plans to go. We'd love to be part of helping spread the popularity of the women's game.
** I should also say thank you to my wife for letting me pretend to go on a date with Paula. As much fun as it is to write on the internet sometimes as a macho male jerk, it's nice to not get in trouble for it later.
[ comments ]
Ya coulda made your own "bold" pink shirt. I have a couple of them with matching socks and undershorts. Seems that you're not supposed to wash white stuff with your wife's (dry clean only) new red dress. You try to help out with the laundry, and just get your butt in a sling for the effort. Who woulda knew?
Awesome recap. I can see you making all of that up in your mind, giggling as you wrote it.
Saturday Golfer says:
That's pretty funny, I am sure that we will see a post on her blog about your meeting as well
Chad Minnick says:
I have a four-year-old daughter with a golf-crush on Paula Creamer. Probably a little different variety than yours, but she's quite smitten with Paula.
In fact, Paula Creamer, in all her pinkness, is what got my daughter interested in golf in the first place.
I guess she could do a lot worse. :)
That was one of the "satirically" funniest things I have read in a long time......
Hah, great article.
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