Why Sex Rehab Is Bad Idea For Tiger
By Kickntrue on 1/20/10
I actually cleared this article with my wife before post it- so I knew my spot in bed was secure for the rest of the week. Her response, "write it, but you're going to look like an ass." Fair enough- but I think it needs to be said. Here goes - You can make a biological and evolutionary argument that Tiger Woods needs to be able to have sex with any and every woman he wants if he wants to continue being the best golfer to ever live. Tiger is the ultimate Alpha Male, and Alpha Males need to get what they desire- that is what drives them.
Look at it from a golf perspective. What does person after person say sets Tiger Woods apart from every other golfer on Tour today? He OWNS them mentally. He wants to win golf tournaments, and even when he's not playing his best- he can still do that, dominating everyone short of YE Yang with his ability to grind out a victory. He decides he's going to win, and he does it. You can't suggest that Tiger walks out on to the golf course and switches into "robot mode." Tiger has to be this way on and off the course. The confidence it takes to will a ball into a hole has to also be there in more menial aspects of his life too, like when he's at home ready to take someone on in a video game or shouting out answers first to questions on Jeopardy.
If you agree that he needs this confidence in all aspects of live, eventually sex will come into the equation. Assuming Tiger is like any other male (which based on this whole mess is a very good assumption to make) then sex comes up multiple times daily and Tiger can't be denied his desires.
Tiger Woods can't afford to have his confidence chipped away. Look at the recent history of mega-superstar athletes and there is one common theme; alpha-male jackasses with supreme confidence. Michael Jordan is by almost all accounts one of the biggest jerks alive. Heck- at his Hall of Fame induction recently he claimed he could still play in the NBA. That's confidence you can't have from being denied sex. Lance Armstrong- jerk. Peyton Manning- jerk. Kobe Bryant- jerk. Barry Bonds- jerk. What do they all have in common? They all are or were at the absolute pinnacle of their respective sports. They also have all either admitted or have heavy rumors surrounding their infidelity. If they can't have sex, one of life's most primal and basic functions, when they want- how can they have the confidence to thread a football into a 8 inch by 8 inch window? They can't.
And here is where things get "real," I don't think having sex with your wife can possibly build your confidence like having sex with some random strange. Not for a thrill seeking adrenaline junkie alpha male. What else do a ton of top tier athletes also have trouble with...? Gambling. It's the same thing. They MUST have the action. Illicit sex is is just "action."
One thing I've said from the beginning of this mess is that the "sex addiction" or "sex rehab" idea is absolutely a joke. Tiger has women absolutely throwing themselves at him. Even if he's able to turn 99% of the women who approach him down (who all look like supermodels by the way) he's still a "sex addict" by societies standards. Show me a man who can snap his fingers and have sex with any woman he wants, who also spends more than 50% of his time on the road- and I'll show you a sex addict. There isn't a man reading this who wouldn't be a "sex addict" in that scenario. Fortunately for most of us (and I seriously mean fortunately) we fall short of that standard on so many levels our wives and consciences can rest comfortably.
If Tiger is "cured" of his sex addiction (I laugh thinking about it because scenes from A Clockwork Orange keep playing in my head) then I think there is a good chance he's going to be a completely different golfer, as in mortal. Sex is just too big a part of a man's life to be shut off. Rewiring a person in that department, with the access and fame of Tiger Woods seems like a failure waiting to happen, and I just can't imagine it's not going to affect all aspects of his work, in this case his golf game. Golf writers say Tiger Woods has the ability to compartmentalize better than any golfer in history, but I don't think you can be a dejected self pitying loner of the course and then turn into the most confident grinder in history on it.
Above are psychological arguments. As a civilized society we try to use higher logic to explain a behavior, but what if we just look at things from an evolutionary and biological standpoint? Ask a sex anthropologist and they'll tell you this- throughout the history of time the best of the species have felt compelled to sow their wild oats fruitfully. It's Darwin's Survival of the Fittest. If you're against Darwin, well, let's go another route. What Tiger Woods has done is no different than countless examples from the Bible. I could make a ridiculous list but how about King Solomon, King David and old Abraham? This is what powerful men do.
By pretty much all accounts the Tiger Woods camp has handled this situation very badly. While the husband and father in me understands respects what he's doing I'm just not sure it works for Tiger Woods, and it's crazy how much this really boils down to perspective and the image he's built through 15 years of carefully crafted public relations. What do you call a husband and father who parties and sleeps with as many as 15 different women? Cheater. Bastard. Ass. Many other words I won't print. What do you call a single man who parties and sleeps with a different smoking hot woman whenever he wants? A playboy. A pimp. A stud. The man. I'm not agreeing in anyway that what Tiger Woods has done is right- but it's his marriage that has turned him into a villain. There are probably 10 guys on the PGA Tour living the same lifestyle and we don't think to even bat an eyelash.
This all leads to a pretty interesting moral dilemma as a fan. Do I want to see Tiger Woods conformed to societal norms of marriage, an institution I believe very strongly in, or do I want to see the best golfer to ever live continue to build on his golf legacy? Initially, I think I would've said the first, mostly because of his kids. Unfortunately, I think the time has come and gone to think his kids aren't going to be scarred by this incident no matter what. If your spouse slept with 15 other people would you try to make it work or move on? You really think Tiger is going to get seriously involved with another woman anytime soon? Of course not. So why go to "sex rehab?" Why try to be cured? Embrace and change your image to sexy playboy, and keep being the best golfer who ever lived.
[ comments ]
He can still be good Father to his children. The wife thing is over, no chance when he has had 15+ lovers during their marriage. Sex rehab is not required, he is a man, like you said if any of us had the chance he had with women i might have tripled that number being on the road all the time. It is natural for men to want different women constantly switching them out. You know that feeling after you just "had" some hot ass strange, it just gives you a confident feeling that you can do anything so i like your alpha male arguement. Embrace it Tiger, its your destiny!
valid points, but I have to think he could be the "Alpha dog" and be a loyal husband and father. It just comes down to his personal thought process, if he thinks he has the best wife in the world then he would have no need to screw around.
your so full of it backquak. My wife is as hot as any other chick but some new hotness wants my junk hard to say no, i know its all moral value crap blah blah, but he is talking purely instinct caveman ideals. Me bang hot chick. new is exciting! same old is well... same old.
I would not touch this thread with a 10´pole... or KB for that matter....
I completely understand your argument/pov, yet this dilemma is what the challenge of being a good man is all about; doing the right thing, etc. True; no one is perfect. But still disappointing to see him (knowingly, consciously) choose the "wrong" way when mental and emotional control is also part of the golf game ...
Jake Bogardus says:
So, while Tiger was dominating junior and amateur golf, winning hundreds of tournaments including all the biggest ones possible, it was because he was having loads of sex with random girls? Highly doubt it dude. He's always been DOMINANT because he is the most talented and the most mentally tough ON the course not in bed. I respect your opinion, but completely disagree.
@von-diesel- completely agree with you. I don't think what he has done is good at all. he is an a$$hole. wouldn't want to even shake the dude's hand right now. this is purely from what would be best for him to win golf tournies.
@jake- i'm not sure i agree with myself. it's just an argument.
Come on Banker85, he was the "alpha dog" when we all thought he was a loyal husband, and I'm sure not everyone thought he was as good as his image. you make it sound like it would be impossible to be the at the top and be a good loyal husband, while I can understand the temptation when gorgeous women are throwing themselves at you, I think it's possible for a man to be the best and a good husband too.
Bryan K says:
The inability to say "no" to sex outside of one's marriage is an addiction just like any other addiction. These addictions tend to have causes, and in Tiger's case, I think that the cause is obvious. Look at the childhood he had. He was raised to be a robot, and I think that his desire for nurturing that he never received as a child has morphed into an addiction as an adult.
So what does this all mean? Well, Tiger obviously has more temptations than other men because of his status. He's also on the road a lot, away from his wife. But the other interesting aspect of all of this is that golf is the reason why he developed this innate desire for nurturing that has morphed into a sex addiction. It could be quite possible that his continued presence on the golf course is contributing to the addiction. Golf itself might act as a trigger.
Bryan K says:
With all of that said, I think we have to ask ourselves...what's more important? Being a golf god? Or being a good husband and father. For me, the answer is easy. If Tiger needs to give up golf in order to be a good husband and father, then that's the choice he should make.
Tiger's need for sex wasn't just about sexual fulfillment. Much like an overweight person's need for eating more than their daily caloric requirments. Can a person live like Tiger (and countless other famous people), yes but ultimately without understanding what drives his need, even to the point of self destruction, the life he leads will be one devoid of satisfaction.
I certaintly don't condone what he did,but he didnt kill anyone or steal anyone's money
I don't mean this post to offend, but just how many of you people have said you are tired/sick of hearing/reading/seeing all the stuff on Tiger? I certainly am. Although I do not condone what Tiger's done, I do understand why it happened. Agree with it, no. Understand it, yes. Now let the man get on with his OWN life and do whatever he has to do. It is not for you to judge, report on, speculate about, or advise him on unless you know him and his wife and family personally. Tiger, fix your life and get back on the course in your own time.
RELAX MIKE, its a blog people can talk about whatever they want and Tiger is a interesting topic if your sick of it then dont read it.
I see what you are sayimg, but I think your wife was right.... :-)
Golfer In Kilt says:
This is an interesting take, although you base your logic on fairly primitive, instinctive and non-sophisticated values.
It's my opinion that at some point strength has to come from the inside, from being at peace with who you are and with your place in the world, rather than being defined by someone else's external parameters.
You can make the same biological and evolutionary arguments for any male, but that's not the kind of life we live today, and anyone who uses our historical reproductive instincts as an excuse for fooling around is copping out.
I do like your tie-in with Clockwork Orange. Classic imagery, right there. Tiger watching porn with clamps holding his eyelids open while Ludwig Van is playing in the background.
I think the 'car accident' could have a bigger impact on all the Tour Players. Do we all believe that Tiger is the only one living like this?
I think if any guy reading this post was suddenly interrupted by about 30 Smoking hot chicks.... IE: Megan Fox, Eva Mendez, Marissa Miller, Beyonce, I think you get the hint, and they were all up on your junk telling you they wanted you, it would be tough to turn them down. Granted, that will never happen to 99.9% of us, but if your that .01% and it does happen, and you could say NO, I think that would be the bigger story! IMO
The argument is that Tiger *has* to be the best at everything; that he is driven by his supreme alpha-ness. Where did the drive to be the best go when it came to being a husband, a father, a friend, a son-in-law, a brand symbol/business partner, etc?
the best article i read all week here. maybe one of the best on Tiger. other than all the reasoning, concerns and guessing. to me it all comes to one thing. Tiger can be the best person on earth or the other way, all it takes is the other half in the family. i think Tiger has a FAILURE WIFE. she can't make her man happy or control her man or help her man to be a better person. people always say there is a good woman behind every good man, it is true in many ways. She had all the money and resources in the world to be with him and make him a even better person, but this is how things came up. dont always blame on Tiger. people do stupid or reckless things in their life, some people do it when they are young, some people do it when they are old. you always need someone to guide you or help you, sometime even to change you. I blame on her since the start. not all her fault, but she sure is not the only victim.
@chrisfb1: Please tell me this is a trolling account.
Thought processes like this, parts of that article, and some other choice comments are why golf has a hard time picking up new players.
Star athletes have long been given far too much leeway. It starts in high school, gets worse in college, and by the time they reach the professional level it's out of control. And the sad fact is this behavior while not being directly encouraged is enabled by everyone around them who straightens out all of their messes so that they can continue to do whatever sport it is that they do better than everyone else. It really irked me in college when I saw football players destroy entire dorms only to have the school administration quitely sweep it under the rug. But doing this doesn't create well adjusted people it creates sociopaths...
Right on, chief_broom, evidence is in salaries and tic prices. Entertainers too - we revere celebrity (any 15-minuter will do) in a pathetic way. As for joowen: "he didn’t. . . steal anyone's money" Steal? For sure. TW cost the brands he endorsed piles of $ because he misrepresented himself and probably lost more than a few people's jobs for them - at the brands and at their ad agencies too.
Your article is extremely interesting. You say you respect the institution of marrage. It's interesting you brought Old Testament leaders into the discussion. Maybe marriage has evolved in a way in which it cannot be followed by all men. Women were considered property by Old Testament leaders. They were trapped in a position of being pure in order to prove to prospective husbands no one had spoiled them. That was the reason marriage was invented. To saction women having sex. Maybe the evolution of marriage has trapped the Alpha male.
Bryan K says:
If we're speaking about Old Testament men, we can't forget about Lot!
Bryan K says:
Windowsurfer: One thing I'd like to point out is that Tiger Woods has made the investors and the upper brass at Nike very, very wealthy. Michael Jordan made the owner(s) of the Chicago Bulls very, very wealthy (as well as the guys at Nike). We we look at professional athletes and the amount of money they take home, I think it's fair to say that they have more money than most of our wildest dreams. However, when compared to the people they work for, their money is just a drop in the bucket.
From biz perspective, the endorsed companies may have netted out positively, but I still say their celeb robbed their money, and screwed with them, whales and minnows alike. Lies of omission. TW's success does not pardon him, but persuades some to forgive him the same way the school forgave the vandalizing football team in chief_brooms post, or acquires for him the same kind of benefit of the doubt Lot was given when he got his family outta Dodge.
I totally disagree with your logic. The bottom line is the guy is a total dirtbag. What happened to integrity? He has integrity on the course but not off? I don't know about you married folk, but I took my wedding vows very seriously.
Now, if he wanted to set a new record for bedding down groupies, he should have stayed single. Very simple. Don't get married.
He slept with women. Watch the TV once in a while. That's almost all you see anymore. It's a moral issue but not a crime. Marriages break up daily due to infidelity. People don't quit their jobs and STILL lose their spouses. Get your ass back on the course so we can talk about golf instead this stupid topic.
Kurt the Knife says:
Your wife is correct. You are an asshole.
Kurt the Knife says:
And don't ask.
If I have to explain, you wouldn't understand anyway.
Jack Nicklaus is the greatest golfer of all time and kept his marriage and family intact. Tiger has lost Elin, so he should make up his mind at least to pursue his life's goal of attempting to beat Jack's record. Tiger blew it, move on. If he doesnt play in this year's majors, I bet Jack's records will stay intact.
I just really don't care what Tiger does off the course. Everyone is so worried about his image, and I think it is really unfortunate that we live in a society where that is such an important thing. The media has blown this out of proportion like they have done almost everything in the history of there existance, and are so off on the official story its laughable. We all like him for what he does ON the course, so let all kick are B.S. morals aside, let the man do what he wants, and focus on his ON-COurse antics!
Kurt the Knife says:
I think we might put our judgements aside but leave our morals intact.
Morals/ethics are the kind of things separates us from lizards.
Which folks like TW will come to understand.
It sure screwed up the twins thing.
I think this is just a good argument for the mrs.... keep it from getting stale in the bedroom and the garbage will be taken out, the lawn mowed, and the car will stay in the home garage if you get my drift. I don't know how many times i heard it from old friends of mine who got married to one person but ended up staying married to a completely different person, if you follow. Not even strictly talking about sex, but demeanor and personality. Marriage does something to some people. Sometimes it ain't good.
Oh, and for the record, i hated Tiger before it was cool :-) haha.
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