Nice Visor - Ace-Stealer
Nathan's Borrowed Ace
By Kickntrue on 5/9/11
Enjoy me while you have me, oobers. Nathan is on vacation for the next three days- and let me tell you, he's going to be insufferable when he gets back. I'm sure he'll tell us all about Saturday from his point of view (over and over and over), but since your my audience, let me share it from mine.

I was having a fine Saturday. I woke up at 7:30 with my son- and we carried out our Saturday morning ritual, eating breakfast together and then plopping down in front of the TV to watch ESPN2's EPL Game of the week. I enjoy the soccer and he enjoys the cheering over the silly "sucka bull." After the game- we got dressed and headed out to his favorite store- where they sell golf balls and football shoes. No sooner did I get home from my perfectly relaxing day and I get a call from Nathan. Naturally, I ignore it. Two seconds later- he's calling again. Assuming he broke the site or something- I pick up.

He was bursting at the seams, "OMG, guess what?! You're never going to believe WTF just happened. OMG, I got a hole-in-one! It was, like, a 140 yard hole. The ball just disappeared." He sounded like the spawn of a valley girl and Rebecca Black.

Once I got him calmed down enough to speak in an audible register, I heard the whole story. Apparently he hit the ball, it hit the front of the green, took a bounce, rolled and then vanished. I guess the hole was set up in a way that he still wasn't sure- so he leaves the rest of his foursome (he was the first to hit) and starts sprinting down to the hole. I mean, seriously- the worst hole in one etiquette ever! He gets down to the green and starts stalking towards the hole- and sure enough finds the ball in the bottom of the cup.

I take the news as well as could be expected. I'm happy for him (I guess) but a little bitter than I've been playing for 20 years and have never really been close. He's been playing in earnest for 2 years or so- and gets one. Not really fair- but what are you going to do? He's completely clueless on what he's to do next and he apparently refused to buy a round at the bar because he thought they were pulling his leg that it was tradition. What a tool!

But wait- there's more. You see, Nathan ordered a new set of clubs about a month ago and for some reason- they haven't come in yet. In the meantime- he sold his old set of clubs on eBay, leaving him without sticks for the past 3 weeks or so. Not too big a deal, except he had this vacation coming up that included golf. So last Monday or so- he starts begging me for my clubs to borrow. I refuse but eventually cave and let him borrow my "The Oven-custom-fit Nike VR CB's since I knew I wasn't going to get to play over the weekend. This small fact- didn't connect with me until about 5 hours after the initial call from Nathan. THAT BASTARD MADE A HOLE-IN-ONE WITH MY CLUBS?!

He sent an email to his family (and me?) at about 4pm that afternoon with pictures of his feat. I don't know why he included me on that email but I appreciated it so, I could respond with this:
Nathan,

Please accept this email to be as "un-congratulatory" as humanly possible.

It took about 5 hours of hearing your news to dawn on me that you did it with my borrowed golf clubs. That fact is completely unacceptable and the clubs are pretty much ruined for me forever. Everyone knows the golf gods only allow for a certain number or good shots in the lifetime of a set of sticks. The fact that you stole a hole in one from them is just downright disrespectful, and frankly pretty much ridiculous to do to a friend, but stupid to do to someone who could fire you.

The clubs are dead to me and the only thing you can do to make it right is to offer a fair market value for the irons, plus 25% for your transgression. I'll expect your $550 check on Thursday.
And you know what... I think I'm serious! Is there any possible way I can accept these clubs back now that he's stolen an ace from them?! It's like when your wife asks you to turn the stuck pickle jar lid; I did all the work and then hand them over for her to pop the top off of. UN-FREAKING-BELIEVE-ABLE!

Nathan- of course, thinks this is all hogwash- and refuses to think he owes me anything. I don't see how he WOULDN'T want to own the clubs he got what will probably end up being his lifetime's only hole-in-one with?! So, oobers- we leave this to you- what do you think? Leave your opinions and your (un)congratulatory messages for Nathan below.


Ha- seriously- how do you shoot a 91 WITH an ace?! At least we can't accuse him of cheating! Amazingly- he played the other 3 par 3's so badly, that his "avg par 3 score" for the day was still worse than the oob average!

Nathan's Scorecard


[ comments ]
Kurt the Knife says:
"Its the man makes the difference, not the machine"

-Chuck Yeager

Take them clubs back, Spanky.
5/9/11
 
bkuehn1952 says:
@kickntrue: you are absolutely correct in your assessment of this situation. Your former set of clubs are now irrevocably contaminated. Sounds like a situation perfect for payroll deduction.
5/9/11
 
bkuehn1952 says:
@mustang6560: nice "39" on the back and fine "1". Congrats on the new set of clubs.
5/9/11
 
Kickntrue says:
@KtK- -1
@bkuehn1952 - +2
5/9/11
 
Envythepea says:
Wow. Serious hating. You could take the view that your clubs are special and there's at least another hole-in-one left in them for you! No? Pretty funny story though. The moral is don't let anyone borrow your sticks.
5/9/11
 
bducharm says:
Andrew, I would let someone borrow my car or wife before I would let them borrow my golf clubs!!! Really??? Seriously??? Come on man!!! You my friend are to blame for this debacle - you must take all of Nathan's ragging forever!!!
5/9/11
 
Torleif Sorenson says:
Look at it this way: With Mustang Sally on vacation, he can get his "OMG!!! hole-in-one!!!" thing out of his system taking it out on OTHER people over the next few days, rather than foisting it on YOU guys back at the office.

Plus, you can prove that your choice of clubs is smarter than his by playing against him after he receives his new sticks... and then wax him like a pair of skis. Then taunt him because he knows he'll never be allowed to borrow your "lucky" clubs again.
5/9/11
 
Kickntrue says:
@bducharm- the dude was in need. going on vaca with no clubs. I had to do it as a friend. my argument is that the proper thing for him to have done would have been to leave the ball on the lip for an almost-ace tap in birdie or even better, assess himself a 2 shot penalty for playing out of someone else's bag, so the shot went on record as a 3, instead of a 1. he still gets the great shot- without being a jack-ass.
5/9/11
 
Torleif Sorenson says:
@bkuehn1952: Andrew's clubs can be "un-contaminated" very easily by asking God to forgive Andrew for his innocent mistake made under unconscionable peer pressure, and then using this carefully-prescribed procedure:

(1) Get a recording of The Commitments performing "Mustang Sally" but play it backwards.
(2) Replace the grips, taking care to use a completely different brand and model;
(3) Use a 6-to-1 mixture of water-to-vinegar to carefully clean the shaft, hosel, and head. (Trust me, it really works well on bass guitar strings!)
(4) Turn around three times, blow into the north wind, and recite an improvised mantra about Mac O'Grady;
(5) Because this is step number *five*, quickly skim "Five Lessons: The Modern Fundamentals of Golf" by Ben Hogan.
5/9/11
 
mjaber says:
There is a local morning show here that does a segment called "Who's the d-bag?" I think this is the perfect situation for a poll. Is Nathan the d-bag for making a hole-in-one with someone else's clubs and then refusing to buy them, or Kevin for demanding payment?

Personally, if I made a hole-in-one with someone else's clubs, I'd gladly buy them. How could you not? You make a great shot like that with a club, you keep it. You keep the ball, the shoes. Hell, I'd take the divot home with me. Dig up the pieces of the tee... I might even bronze the underwear I was wearing (assuming I was wearing underwear that day).
5/9/11
 
GolfinHawg says:
He took all the luck out of yor clubs. Make him buy them from you!!That is the least he can do by stealing your ace since he was using your clubs.
5/9/11
 
srogers13 says:
Kick, if you look at the scorecard, he did not even update the clubs he played with to show he used your clubs for the round.
5/9/11
 
Backquak says:
@kickintrue, just think how many great shots must be in those clubs if a hacker like mustang can even make an Ace with them. They must be magical, the guys at Nike must have put something "special" in them. And now that the secret is out I think 550 is way to cheap. The best thing to do is to charge him $550 for RENTING the magic clubs and if he would like to make another Ace, the rate is $550 per ace, he will never find a better deal on aces. I see a real money making opportunity here.
5/9/11
 
Jattruia says:
I see your point, he definitely f'd your clubs. he could either buy the set from you (why wouldn't he want to?!), trade his new set for them (did he order good clubs?), or at the very least, replace that one club.
5/9/11
 
bobhooe says:
How are you ever going to be able to look down at that 8 or 9 iron ever again and hit a good shot knowing the best shot ever hit with that stick came from someone else. I would just throw the club in question in the river right in front of him and replace it with a freshy.
5/9/11
 
homermania says:
Ugh. This is similar to the fact that my brother (poor golfer) has one ace to my none. Worst part: it was a ricochet off of a shed.

@mustang- you owe everyone in that group (and Andrew) a round at the bar. How do you not know this?!
5/9/11
 
Kurt the Knife says:
you're all insane.
5/9/11
 
Banker85 says:
Nathan owes you nothing but a thank you and a beer and a IN YOUR FACE! Why would he buy clubs when he has new ones on the way? I doubt you are paying him that well. If anything Nathan should buy the 1 club he used for the ace. Not the whole set. The golf gods are rewarding Nathan for all his hard work since you been slacking! Keep it up Nathan.
5/9/11
 
rmumph1 says:
Andrew, I can understand you frustration but taking it out on Nathan is not the answer. I don't care if I made a hole in one with a shovel, it's still a hole in one. He should have to clean you clubs for you though and buy you a drink.
5/9/11
 
Agustin says:
Since he did not buy the round of drinks he's forever cursed by the golf gods to never make another ace. Just pray that the curse was limited to Nathan and that your clubs were spared.
5/9/11
 
Agustin says:
Note to self: Never, EVER lend my clubs; especially on a par 3.

Regarding the round of drinks Nathan owes... He's lucky this didn't happen in Mexico. Here we would owe the entire course a round and riots may have broken out if he refused to pay up.
5/9/11
 
wrhall02 says:
Didn't know he HAS to buy drinks??? And then refused despite being clued in because he thought it was a joke??? Really???

Mustang should replace the set and treat his co-workers to a huge happy hour (several rounds, not just one). The Golf Gods are very unforgiving, they MUST be re-paid. IMO, Mustang has to make ammends on two fronts: buying drinks and replacing clubs.
5/9/11
 
erickbelus says:
Take the remainder of the clubs back and make him replace the one he got your ace with. Sounds like a fair deal to me since he weaseled out of buying the round of drinks.
5/9/11
 
dottomm says:
Came here to echo Agustine - I'd just let Nathan keep the clubs. They're no good now that he cursed them by ducking the Hole-in-One law. Buying drinks after you get home from the course does nobody any good. The Gods are disgusted.
5/9/11
 
dottomm says:
Oh Yea, and Nathan. Nice job on the HOLE IN ONE!!! You have something Andrew will never be able to take away from you.
5/9/11
 
bkuehn1952 says:
We have too focused on the borrowed club debacle and lack of drink-buying. How about the total breach of all known golf etiquette in running to the green prior to the rest of the players hitting? Talk about creating a spectacle!! Geez, it is almost like he was surprised at the result of the shot. I can forgive posing after a well struck ball but sprinting 140 yards to see the result?
5/9/11
 
askarzy says:
The clubs shall be burned and buried near the earth's core.
5/9/11
 
Bryan K says:
Sorry...but it sounds to me like your clubs are now broken in. I think that's the problem most people have with hitting an ace. Getting that first one is the hardest. Now that they are broken it, you should be rattling them off like no tomorrow.

And for the record, if I ever get an ace, there will be no drink buying. Doesn't make sense to force a guy who doesn't drink to buy drinks, now, does it?
5/9/11
 
Bryan K says:
Oh, and if I sprinted 140 yards to see the result of a shot, I think I'd be done golfing for the day. You'd probably need to give me a ride back to the clubhouse as well.
5/9/11
 
gpickin says:
I just noticed, Mustang isn't on Kickn's friends list anymore.
Wow, what power that magical ace can have on people LOL
5/9/11
 
stedar says:
If it was me:
I lent the clubs to a friend. Nope, I wouldn't do that :-)
I borrowed a friends clubs and hole'd in 1. Bragging rights forever.

Lose/Win which ever way you play it. Sorry, you got shafted...
5/10/11
 
tartantoml says:
Cursed clubs? Are they not blessed by the golf gods? Doing the favor of lending your clubs has set you up for some "breakthrough" golf. Best of luck to both of you.
5/10/11
 
mjaber says:
If I were Nathan, since he's refusing to pay you for the clubs, I'd go a step further. I'd grab a sharpie and autograph the club I used, adding "ACE" after the autograph.

But as I said above, I'd buy 'em off you.
5/10/11
 
Banker85 says:
HE even took the clubs out of his current equpiment and put in his old Mizuno's talk about a cry baby sore loser whiny lil girl! Rub it in Nathan!
5/10/11
 
Banker85 says:
lol jk you guys are funny though
5/10/11
 
white_rabbitt says:
Why not just borrow Nathan's new irons when they come in until you get an ace w/ his clubs!? Even steven.
5/10/11
 
stuart189 says:
Well done Nathan, Should only have to pay for and keep the club used for the ace.
5/12/11
 
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