By bkuehn1952 on 5/16/13
Those of us who play as singles or twosomes have often been paired up with some interesting people. In my experience 98 percent of golfers are pleasant companions for the 3-5 hours you are thrown together on the golf course. Sometimes you even strike up a friendship and end up playing golf together in the future. Then there are the other 2 percent.
This was written by Brian Kuehn, a reader/follower/fellow oober and the opinions are 100% his and do not reflect those of oobgolf in anyway. Enjoy! I'm sure he's ready for your feedback.
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i've played with an incarnation of all these golfers except the boxing buddies. never seen a physical argument on the course.... yet.
The Drunk is always a fun one or guy that thinks he's Jeff Gordon with the cart but would still rather be with these than with Betty Lou.
How about the guy that insists on playing from the tips, and talks about how much he golfs around the country and how he has a set of clubs everywhere he stays...then proceeds to slice and hook his way off of every tee box through all 18 holes.
How about Mr. Magoo/Forest Gump? This is guy or gall who stumbles and bumbles his way through the entire round. Doesn't pull or replace the flag when they should, is not aware of when it's their turn to go, and generally oblivous to the world.
The worlds greatest...
"Hi my name is Ron, I'm a roofing contractor, if you've ever seen a roof and thought how nice it was I was the one who did it."
Hi Ron I can tell this is going to be a fun 4-5 hours. I can't tell you the amount of times I've looked at a roof in amazement. *sigh*
A few months back I was walking as a single to the tee, saw another single at his cart preparing to tee off. I decided to be mr. friendly and ask about pairing up. He agreed, but before we ever got a peg in the ground he started on apologizing. He explained his reasons for being a bad golfer non-stop. Divorce. Hurt back. Lost job. Wrong clubs. Trying new swing technique. Not practicing since quit membership, etc etc. It was creepy. Then about the 5th hole he made a par and I bogeyed, and he commented "got you on that one!" like suddenly we were in a competition.
The guy who doesn't count bad shots....or penalties. Got paired up with a father and son pair. Son is okay, but father stinks up the place. Somehow he forgets all his bad shots (which are the vast majority of his shots). Eg. He hits his drive into the woods, can't find it. Drops another somewhere well past where it went into the woods and dribbles it a few yards. Hits it again, into the woods on the other side of the fairway. Drops another. Dribbles it near the green. Skull chips it over the green. Finally on the green. 3 putts. While all this is going on, I hit a great drive, a good approach, decent chip, but two-putt for a respectable bogey. His son asks "What'd you get Dad?" "Um, guess I have to take a bogey on that one son." This type of scoring went on the whole round, of which he spent most of in the woods. By his calculations, he probably beat me by 10 strokes. I probably shot 85. The man never came close to a honest-to-God bogey the entire round, yet when I saw his card there were many written in.
@DougE: That is my Father-in-law. Somehow as i 2 putt my Bogey he ends up with only a double when i know for sure he took atleast four shots to the green and 3 putted. I've learned to just agree and say nice par, when i now it was a bogey or worse.
Worst for me was being hassled for 18 holes to buy insurance. I think this guy just played golf all day trying to make sales.
"Worst for me was being hassled for 18 holes to buy insurance. I think this guy just played golf all day trying to make sales."
Ha ha ha! I almost forgot about the guy that sold meat. He started the sales pitch on about the 15th hole and took me over to his PU (had a cooler unit in the bed) after the round. It was VERY hard to get away from him.
Tim Horan says:
We have a guy at the club, Scottish so even when sober it is hard to understand his accent. This guy is a two handicapper when sober and into plus figures when drunk. I have seen him driven to the club for a competition, poured into a buggy, handed every club throughout the round where he asked how far to to the pin on every shot including putts and score an amazing two under in the rain. Where upon he returned to the bar and drank, and drank and drank. He is a painter and decorator by trade...what a waste of natural talent!!
MR. RULE MAN...a friend of a friend who sucks..never broke 100..and this guy tries to play by ever single rule whether right or wrong....I play by the rules but sometimes take a drop to keep up the pace of play.....learn how to hit the ball and forget about the rules!!....And he is the best dressed golfer in the world!!!!
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