Wow- about as "hard" as it gets.
A Golf Poem
By Kickntrue on 9/28/09
Someone sent me a golf poem this morning. Normally, I'd ignore it- but I mean, come on, a poem, about golf. Duh! This is great actually. Now when your wife gets on you about being a beer chugging fat slob, you can argue that you read poetry and a cultured man and that she should respect what she has (umm.. could one of you try that first before I attempt it?).

Thanks to Rick Nelson for the heads up.

In My Hand I Hold A Ball,
White And Dimpled, and Rather Small.
Oh, How Bland It Does Appear,
This Harmless Looking Little Sphere.

By It's Size I Could Not Guess,
The Awesome Strength It Does Possess.
But Since I Fell Beneath Its Spell,
I've Wandered Through The Fires Of Hell.

My Life Has Not Been Quite The Same,
Since I Chose To Play This Stupid Game.
It Rules My Mind For Hours On End,
A Fortune It Has Made Me Spend.

It Has Made Me Yell, Curse And Cry,
I Hate Myself And Want To Die.
It Promises A Thing Called Par,
If I Can Hit It Straight And Far.

To Master Such A Tiny Ball,
Should Not Be Very Hard At All.
But My Desires The Ball Refuses,
And Does Exactly As It Chooses.

It Hooks And Slices, Dribbles And Dies,
And Even Disappears Before My Eyes.
Often It Will Have A Whim,
To Hit A Tree Or Take A Swim.

With Miles Of Grass On Which To Land,
It Finds A Tiny Patch Of Sand.
Then Has Me Offering Up My Soul,
If Only It Would Find The Hole.

It's Made Me Whimper like A Pup,
And Swear That I Will Give It Up.
And Take To Drink To Ease My Sorrow,
But The Ball Knows, I'll Be Back Tomorrow.

Oh- and I guess this is seperate.

Stand proud you noble swingers of clubs and losers of balls....

A recent study found the average golfer walks about 900 miles a year.
Another study found golfers drink, on average, 22 gallons of alcohol a year.
That means, on average, golfers get about 41 miles to the gallon.

Kind of makes you proud. I almost feel like a hybrid!

I can't seem to find a real source on either of these and they are all over the net- so... well, the linked page is worth seeing- just for the awesome use of clip art and animated .gifs.


photo source

[ comments ]
greendevil says:
Cool poem; it's so true.
Banker85 says:
isnt that the truth! i will always be back. i actually havent golfed for 2 weeks and am having withdrawls, so i am going in the a.m. even though they are saying 30mph winds.
Golf_O_Matic says:
A thing of it!
[ post comment ]
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