Your 9 Iron As Home Security

Both will be attacked in my house.

Golf clubs can be very dangerous weapons. I read stories weekly about someone killing someone else with a club, and I don't post those, because they're just sad, and pathetic. I don't condone violence (I consider myself a pacifist), but when someone breaks into your home, a safe place where you and your family live, eat and sleep in peace, I say anything is fair game. That's why I'm posting this- and why I give all the credit in the world to the homeowner.

An alleged burglar was arrested Thursday morning after he was chased by the victim's boyfriend — who struck him with a golf club.

Manual Cantu, 31, had to be treated for an abdominal injury after being hit with a nine-iron, police said. The victim identified the Concord resident as the burglar; he was booked at County Jail in Martinez.

The incident occurred shortly before 10:15 a.m. at an apartment on Adelaide Street, police said. After catching a burglar in the act, police said, the victim's boyfriend grabbed the club and chased him along Laguna Street. In the 1400 block of Detroit Avenue, the burglar ran into the flood channel.

I don't think there is a guy in the world who hasn't fantasized about a "hero" situation where he rescues his family from an intruder. I've analyzed this situation endlessly, usually after hearing an odd noise while laying in bed awake with the rest of the house happily sleeping. I don't own a gun, but I do have a baseball bat, a 8 inch gurkha knife and about 60 golf clubs at my disposal. I like the idea of a long lever- and staying as far away from a crazy man as possible.

Good call by this Concord, California, resident.

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[ comments ]

mjaber says:
Keep your eye on the target, and make sure you follow through. I'd go for a knee, or ankle. It's much easier to make the guy wait for the cops to arrive if you've taken away the use of one of his legs.

If someone breaks in, I say "Game on." Grab whatever is handy. Shoe, lamp, golf club, cat, small dog, bird cage, potted plant, iron, chair. There are no rules. Gouge eyes, pull hair, use the "Vulcan neck pinch", smack him in the testicles with the small dog. Whatever works.

3/5/10

mootruck98 says:
But which club to choose? The woods are out, they just don't have the same impact as an iron. Do I want the 3 Iron for increased range? Should I get the 9Iron or a wedge as the hallway may be somewhat narrow and need the shorter club for close quarter combat. I'm thinking you would want the stiff steel shaft over the flex of a graphite for durability.

3/5/10

mjaber says:
@mootruck... I think my club of choice would be a putter, preferably a blade. It gives you more options.

3/5/10

mootruck98 says:
@mjaber - Good call, did not consider the putter, good weight, not too long. You can also hit it flat across the head or focus the tip of the putter against a tender spot or kneecap.

3/5/10

bducharm says:
Wow, you guys are violent!!! LOL - I agree, step into my house uninvited and you are fair game!!!

3/5/10

furrier says:
This is the one time you SHOULD hurry your swing!

3/5/10

mjaber says:
@bducharm... I prefer to think of myself as pro-actively assertive :)

3/5/10

mjaber says:
I chuckle when I picture a situation where I pick up my wife's silky terrier and throw her like a football and some moron who thought my house was a good place to get free stuff.

3/5/10

Nethmonkey says:
ooo, use the back of one of those claw putters, preferably belly length for extra distance.

3/5/10

toothid says:
7 iron is the club to use.... I understand it may also be useful if you need to break an auto window in order to rescue someone in distress.

3/5/10

tennesseeboy says:
When I have to make a pressure shot on the course, I go with the club I have the most confidence in, the one that I feel will give me the best chance of hitting my target. In this situation, I would go with the shotgun.

3/5/10

mootruck98 says:
@tennesseeboy - nothing says get out of my house like the sound of a pump shotgun cycling a shell into the chamber.

3/5/10

merlin2driver says:
People with no guns should have to register with their city and pay a $500.00 annual fee for the privilege. The rest of us are helping keep the country safe and you should have to share the expense.

3/5/10

cmuidiot says:
How did he only escape with an abdominal injury? Who swings at someone there? Was he literally practicing his follow through on his swing? I think I'd be swinging for the guy's head.

3/5/10

Josh says:
@cmuidiot maybe he was aiming just a little lower?

3/6/10

sepfeiff says:
I'll change my ADT security sign for one that reads "Beware of low handicapper" :)

3/6/10

Lf Golf1 says:
lol @ sepfeiff post

3/7/10

Torleif Sorenson says:
@mjaber, I would be concerned that a putter shaft would not survive such high swing speeds. A 9-iron or wedge would allow for use in a narrow hallway, plus you'd reduce the chance of accidentally hitting the ceiling if you're swinging the clubhead down on his head. @mootruck98 is correct; you definitely want stiff-flex steel over graphite for durability since one swing might not be enough to take down and incapacitate said criminal.

A couple of applications of a golf shoe equipped with old-fashioned steel spikes would also prove helpful, methinks.

3/8/10

merlin2driver says:
Never take a golf club to a gunfight.

3/8/10

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