This May or May Not Be Real
By Kickntrue on 1/11/11
But it's funny so who cares...

Thanks to Merlin2Driver for the link, and apologies to "the internet" for stealing this without attribution.

ACTUAL CALLS RECEIVED AT A PUBLIC GOLF COURSE

Staff: Golf course, may I help you?
Caller: What are your green fees?
Staff: 38 dollars.
Caller: Does that include golf?


Staff: Golf course, may I help you?
Caller: Yes, I need to get some information from you. First, is this your correct phone number?


Staff: Golf course, may I help you?
Caller: Yes, we have a tee time for two weeks from Friday.
What's the weather going to be like that day?


Staff: Golf course, may I help you?
Caller: Yes, I had a tee time for this afternoon but I'm running late. Can you still get me out early?


Staff: Golf course, may I help you?
Caller: Yes, do you have one of those areas where you can buy a bucket of golf balls and hit them for practice?
Staff: You mean a driving range?
Caller: No, that's not it.


Staff: Golf course, may I help you?
Caller: Yes, I'd like to get a tee time tomorrow between 12 o'clock and noon.
Staff: Between 12 o'clock and noon?
Caller: Yes.
Staff: We'll try to squeeze you in.


Staff: Golf course, may I help you?
Caller: Do you have any open tee times around 10 o'clock?
Staff: Yes, we have one at 10:15.
Caller: What's the next time after that?
Staff: We have one at 10:22.
Caller: We'll take that one. It will be a bit warmer.


Staff: Golf course, may I help you?
Caller: How much to play golf today?
Staff: 25 to walk, 38 with a cart.
Caller: 38 dollars?
Staff: No, 38 yen.


Staff: Golf course, may I help you?
Caller: What do you have for tee times tomorrow?
Staff: What time would you like?
Caller: What times do you have?
Staff: What time of the day?
Caller: Any time.
Staff: Morning or afternoon?
Caller: Whenever.
Staff: We have 16 times open in the morning and 20 open in the afternoon. Would you like me to read the whole list?
Caller: No, I don't think any of those times will work for me.


Staff: Golf course, may I help you?
Caller: Do you have a dress code?
Staff: Yes, we do. We require soft spikes.
Caller: How about clothes?
Staff: Yes, you have to wear clothes.


Staff: Golf course, may I help you?
Caller: Yes, do you have a driving range there?
Staff: Yes.
Caller: How much for a bucket of large balls?
Staff: Sorry, we're all out of large balls. But we can give you twice as many small balls for the same price.


Staff: Golf course, may I help you?
Caller: Can I get a tee time for tomorrow?
Staff: Sure, what time would you like?
Caller: Something between 9 o'clock and 10 o'clock. In the morning, if possible.


Staff: Golf course, may I help you?
Caller: Do you rent golf clubs there?
Staff: Yes, they're 25 dollars.
Caller: How much to rent a bag?


Staff: Golf course, may I help you?
Caller: Yes, my husband just called me on his cell phone and told me he's on the 15th hole. How many more holes does he have to play before he gets to the 18th?


Staff: Golf course, may I help you?
Caller: Yes, do you have a driving range there?
Staff: Yes.
Caller: How much for a large bucket?
Staff: Four dollars.
Caller: Does that include the balls?


Staff: Golf course, may I help you?
Caller: Do you have a twilight rate?
Staff: Yes, it's 15 dollars after 2 o'clock.
Caller: And what time does that start?


Staff: Golf course, may I help you?
Caller: Yes, I'd like some info about your golf course.
Staff: OK, what would you like to know?
Caller: I don't know, that's why I called.


Staff: Golf course, may I help you?
Caller: My kids just came home with pockets full of range balls and said they stole them from your driving range. Would you like to buy them back?


photo source


[ comments ]
Banker85 says:
nice i like the large balls one. no homo
1/11/11
 
homermania says:
Staff: Moe's Tavern
Caller: Hello, is Homer there?
Staff: Homer who?
Caller: Homer...Sexual.
1/11/11
 
bkuehn1952 says:
I got a nice chuckle out of these, especially the response: "Yes, you have to wear clothes." I don't recall saying any of the quotes but knowing my tendency to be a bit dense at times, any number of them could have spontaneously erupted from my mouth.
1/11/11
 
mjaber says:
Reminds me of an email I got once with a bunch of "Tech Support" conversations.
1/11/11
 
svj says:
i worked at course for 5 years when i was in my teens.. it was a small 9 hole course with no dress code or anything. we will get a bunch of hillbillys out there wearing boots or whatever. i didn't care, as long as the owner didnt care, but one time a guy walked into the club house and said how much to take out one of them buggies (golf cart) and ride them around... i losed it and quit soon after
1/11/11
 
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