Don't even get me going on THE WOMEN of GB!
Green Bay - What A Town!
By Kickntrue on 2/7/11
Editors Note: I lost a bet fair and square (in the comments). I always repay my debts- so here are 500+ words on the great city of Green Bay, Wisconsin!

Green Bay, Wisconsin, is a great place to live, well, unless you have kids and live next to one of these guys. If you love the feeling of your testicles receding up into your body like a set of ovaries, this is THE place for you to live- the average HIGH temperature for the month of January is 24 degrees. On the plus side- walking around like a little lady-man will make it a lot easier to show your face in public wearing a plastic hat shaped like moldy cheese.

All joking aside- Green Bay is a pretty special little slice of God’s green earth. It’s a city almost completely void of racism. Sure- more than 85% of all its inhabitants are white- but that’s what makes it so great! There is absolutely nobody to be racist against! [Ed Note- Seriously- I think if you do the math- about 20% of all the blacks in Green Bay play on the Packers defense.] The booming metropolis also has 2 shopping malls. There are rumors circling around the internet that they may even have a Lady’s Foot Locker coming soon- so yah, you have that to look forward to!

Of course- the best part of the city is the football- and of course I’m talking about the expansion franchise for the Lingerie Football League that will start up this spring. Ex-Green Bay Packer Gilbert Brown will serve as coach. I suppose having a 375 pound man coach models in lingerie is a pretty safe way to avoid awkward team relationships. Hopefully he doesn’t pull a Brett Favre- and no I’m talking about sending inappropriate texts to his players. I’m speaking more to the mental anguish Gil would put his city through if he ever decided to leave the city.

This ode to Green Bay wouldn’t be complete without talking about the Packers and their rabid fans. The Packers are the only major sport's franchise in any sport to be owned by the community instead of by a single owner (an idea the NFL thought so asinine that they banned the practice in the 1980s, but the Packers were grandfathered in). Anytime the Packers need money they just sell more shares of the team for $200 a pop and have the fans fund their projects. I’m actually all for this- I mean, it sure beats having taxpayers carry the load right? Plus- as a bonus you get to INVEST in your love, right?! Well- not really.
“Shares of stock include voting rights, but the redemption price is minimal, no dividends are ever paid, the stock cannot appreciate in value (though private sales often exceed the face value of the stock), and stock ownership brings no season ticket privileges.”
You have to love the mid-western spirit though! So strong- that even though owning a piece of the team is absolutely worthless you can still find Wisconsinites willing to pay more than the face-value of the stock to own their piece.

Last night the Pack added to their storied history by winning their 4th Super Bowl. Sure- a cynic would question the validity of the first 2 (literally the first two) when the strong NFL played against the champion of the AFL. It was kind of like the New York Yankees playing the Little League World Series champs and feeling good about winning, but I wouldn’t say that. Nope- I think Green Bay deserves every bit of praise this article has to offer!

Now I know what you’re thinking. How can I possibly say all these great things about Green Bay when I haven’t even been there? Well my friends- that’s just not true- I have been to Green Bay. I was driving from Milwaukee to Menominee and had to take a dump. It was actually a pretty precarious situation. Reaching emergency status- the traffic light in Green Bay wouldn’t turn green- and it ended up being a pretty close call. I’m happy to say things worked out though- and I successfully left my mark in Titletown, USA (by the way, Detroit would like you to stop using their nickname).


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[ comments ]
bducharm says:
Andrew, you did repay your debt, but COME ON MAN!!! Green Bay is an awesome town (yes, town). The people there are the friendliest in the world! The Packer Hall of Fame is visited by more people each year than the Pro Football Hall of Fame! And with regards to Detroit - SUCK IT! Green Bay won their first World Championship in 1929. Detroit was still rolling out Model T's!!! We will not even forget Brent Favre!!!
2/7/11
 
Kickntrue says:
@bducharm- I've been to Milwaukee a couple times and thought it was a great city. I've heard nothing but amazing things about Madison. The state of Wisconsin really is nice. That's why it was so easy to write these great words about Green Bay. Sure- I wanted to win last night, but finding kind things to say about Green Bay was just so easy.
2/7/11
 
mjaber says:
I've been to Green Bay, and to the Packer HOF (my dad is from Fond Du Lac). They are definately a "special" bunch.

I do like the idea of the team being owned by the city, rather than a group of investors. Green Bay, unlike every other city, can truly say that the Packers are THEIR team. Fans say it all the time, but it's not really true. The team is owned by some rich guy, or a small group of rich guys. It can be packed up and moved (to LA or Baltimore) without warning.

I feel I should point out, though, that the Green Bay Packers have NOTHING on the 49ers of San Francisco. No other team has won MORE Super Bowls, while losing fewer (San Fran is 5-0). Plus, they had Jerry Rice.
2/7/11
 
Banker85 says:
that is exactly how i expected the article to be. sarcastic

awesome news about the lady footlocker though!
2/7/11
 
BME_Badger says:
Everyone seems to forget all of the NFL championships before the concept of the Super Bowl started. Sorry if your favorite franchise wasn't around to participate back then :-)

I'd highly recommend a visit to Green Bay for you football && golf fans. Hit up Lambeau Field, the Packers Hall of Fame, and some world class golf in the stretch between Milwaukee and Green Bay.
2/7/11
 
Kickntrue says:
@BME_Badger- that's because they DON'T count. Those titles are like being the best Calvinball team in your middle school and declaring yourself the National Champ just because there isn't an official championship yet.
2/7/11
 
bkuehn1952 says:
@Kickntrue: There is only one Titletown and it is located in Wisconsin. Detroit is Hockeytown (and waiting for the next chance to kick the Pen's butts).
2/7/11
 
bkuehn1952 says:
@mjaber: Detroit shares the record of never losing a Super Bowl with San Francisco!
2/7/11
 
mjaber says:
@bkuehn... there are a few teams that have never lost a Super Bowl... however, there aren't any with more wins and no losses. Top3 in wins are Pittsburgh, Dallas and San Fran, and only San Fran is undefeated.
2/7/11
 
bducharm says:
@Bkuehn1952 - CLASSIC!!! Count the Vi-queens in there as well.

@kickntrue - Seriously? They don't count??? OK, ALL NHL titles when there was the original 6 don't count! When Michael Jordan wore short shorts, those don't count! When there was no wild card in baseball, those don't count!!! NFL Championships are just that - Championships!!!
2/7/11
 
bkuehn1952 says:
@bducharm: Some, like Kickntrue, would like to think the history of football started in 1974. The fact that Pittsburgh had a playoff record of 1 and 4 from 1933 to 1973 (and -0- titles) is supposed to be irrelevant.
2/7/11
 
Trav says:
I've visted Green Bay several times. It was always in January. Let's just say it was nippy. The airport is, shall we say, seriously green and gold. People said the area was really nice in summer, but I could never arrange to get there on August 1 to find out. Seriously, people are very nice and I would gladly revisit. But this time, I would do it on Ausgust 1.
2/7/11
 
rmumph1 says:
The Saints are 1-0 in the Superbowl. I'm claiming New Orleans as the new Titletown. All the championships before 2009 don't count.
2/7/11
 
mmontisano says:
the Cleveland Browns have never lost a Superbowl! but i that's because they've never been to one.... : /
2/8/11
 
Godesy says:
Does that mean the bengals r the worst hopefully, 0-2 in the Superbowl, or would tha be Buffalo(0-4 allin a row)
2/11/11
 
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