David Feherty = Awesome Golf Quotes
By Kickntrue on 3/4/08
Golf announcer David Feherty was recently invited to speak at a PGA of British Columbia's breakfast in Canada and let loose some comedic gold.
Some of his gems:
-On the 14 years since CBS colleague Gary McCord was banned from the Masters: "They don't do comedy at the Masters. The Masters, for me, is like holding onto a really big collection of gas for a week. It's like having my buttocks surgically clenched at Augusta General Hospital on Wednesday, and surgically unclenched on Monday on the way to Hilton Head."
-On McCord's recent revelation, at the annual JCC Sports Awards banquet in Vancouver, that Tiger Woods' caddy Steve Williams and Feherty often try to outdo one another on the course in the area of flatulence, Feherty said Tiger is no slouch himself: "He can lay 'em down like a crop duster."
-On Phil Mickelson: "Phil is brilliant, but he's nuts. There's something not quite right about that boy. Phil is watching a movie that only Phil can see. His mother told me, 'Phil was so clumsy as a little boy, we had to put a football helmet on him until he was four because he kept bumping into things.' I told her, 'Mary, I'm a writer, you can't keep handing me material like this.' So the next time I saw Phil I said, 'You didn't really wear a football helmet in the house until you were four, did you?' He said, 'It was more like five.' "
- "I just stood there watching him [Tiger] walk past," Feherty said, "and thinking, 'I don't know what that is, but I know there weren't two of them on Noah's Ark.' "
[ comments ]
Is it possible for Mr. Feherty to write an article or make a speech without resorting to flatulence jokes? He must certainly have the record by now for getting the most mileage out of the subject. The risk of becoming boring looms large on the horizon. Such a marvelous natural talent could win a lot of majors in the writing world with just a little extra effort to be a bit more original.
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