"That (expletive) really knew how to hurt me"
By mustang6560 on 6/11/12
Thanks to oober accarson3 for the tip.

Following The Road to the U.S. Open, the USGA reviews all of the scores from the Sectional Qualifiers.

In order to attempt to qualify for the U.S. Open, an amateur golfer must have an official handicap index of 1.4 or better. While the U.S. Open is open to anyone regardless of background, the USGA does not want weekend warriors trying to qualify, so it sends a letter to every golfer who shoots a suspicious score (high 80s, low 90s, or higher) to find out why they performed well above their stated ability.

Golf is a notoriously challenging game, and even the pros occasionally shoot in the 80s (see Rickie Fowler at the Memorial Tournament), so the USGA wants to give each golfer who performed poorly the chance to defend himself. If a valid excuse is not provided, the USGA will ban the golfer from participating in officially sanctioned events for three years.

Rick Reilly wrote a column featuring some of the best excuses submitted to the USGA over the years.
One guy wrote, "The reason I played poorly was the night before my wife took my clubs, so I had to go to the neighbor and borrow some. That (expletive) really knew how to hurt me."

Another man explained, "The color of the greens bothered me. I just never played on that color of green before."

One golfer said that he'd recently uncovered "incriminating" evidence that Richard Nixon, Ronald Reagan and Stephen King had plotted to assassinate John Lennon and that FBI agents were "hiding behind every bush and tree" as he played.
I'm pretty sure the USGA did not buy the last excuse. If anything, I'm sure they included a list of mental institutions in the area of the golfer who submitted it.

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Image via USGA


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[ comments ]
bducharm says:
I got the "dreaded" letter. I tried to qualify for the US Senior Open and shot 83. If you are 10 stroked above the course index, you get the letter. You then have to send in proof of performance to get back into USGA events.
6/11/12
 
mustang6560 says:
What was your "excuse"?
6/11/12
 
Banker85 says:
That is funny, but for $150 you could play Trump National 3x, not bad...
6/11/12
 
dottomm says:
So, the one golfer who said "that he'd recently uncovered "incriminating" evidence that Richard Nixon, Ronald Reagan and Stephen King had plotted to assassinate John Lennon and that FBI agents were "hiding behind every bush and tree" as he played." lives nearby here, and he drives around in a minivan that declares Stephan King Killed John Lennon in big red letters. I used to see him around town all the time, and then I ran into him on the golf course. He went on about how he'd tried to get on the tour yada yada yada. A real nut case. Check out www.lennonmurdertruth.com/ and read all about him. Weirdo.
6/11/12
 
bducharm says:
Nathan, I didn't have to provide an excuse. I showed proof of being able to play in other tournament conditions which got me reinstated the following year. My excuse was I played bad! As every golfer does.
6/11/12
 
homermania says:
@dottomm, that is truly bizarre.
6/12/12
 
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