The Things Golfers Say
By mustang6560 on 4/16/12
Golf is a funny game, so it makes sense that golfers have developed a litany of funny golf phrases to match.
"Do I get relief from this?"

"Bite!"

"Stay up!"

"I deceled."

"I don't get it. I hit it great on the range."
Some are used to justify a bad shot. Some are used to calm the nerves. And some are used to express complete and total frustration! Regardless of whether you live in Rome, Italy or Rome, Georgia, you will hear these phrases on the golf course in one form or fashion.

My favorite phrase, which was alluded to in the video below several times but never directly stated, is "I normally don't play this bad." You know the guy (or gal) who uses this phrase. It's the one who rarely plays and never practices, but is genuinely surprised to shoot 100+ every time s/he plays.

What is your favorite golf phrase that is missing from the video "Sh*t Golfers Say"?



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[ comments ]
Virtuaframax says:
there's always some sort of blame about the greens that don't hold the approach shots or not being "true" to the break when putting...
4/16/12
 
bkuehn1952 says:
I am with you Nate, "I normally don't play this bad" is heard way too often.

One of the more original phrases I have heard was while this one guy's shot was on its way to the green: "Grow teeth, baby!"
4/16/12
 
legitimatebeef says:
"Such a cruel game!!!" I have heard this one a lot and it usually follows some worm-burning slice finds the green only to roll off the back, or a way-too-hard putt bounces off the back of the hole and stays out. "The Things Shit Golfers Say" is more like it.
4/16/12
 
BAKE_DAWG40 says:
How about, "These bunkers aren't built right"? I've heard that quite a few times.
4/16/12
 
mjaber says:
"How does that happen?"

Usually me, after either skulling my teeshot on a par 3, and making the green anyway, or hitting my 7i over the green from 160 out.
4/16/12
 
glenrich says:
Here is a good one I've heard a lot.

"I can't believe that. I hit that one perfect!"

and this one..

"I can't believe that didn't break! There's something wrong with the greens here."
4/16/12
 
PHALE says:
"I wasted all the good ones at the range" "It's a be-backer" "We call that a senior par"
4/16/12
 
joe jones says:
Keep your head down
4/16/12
 
Dusty23 says:
When one of us in my regular group has a shot that ends with that distinctive sound of hitting wood as it goes into the trees, He will usually be serenaded with a chorus of, "reeeejected" by the rest of us. Juvenile, I know, but it's better than letting him think no one noticed.
4/16/12
 
Jbeck says:
What Keeps them out, LOL love that one.
4/16/12
 
Matt Otskey says:
Lol great video. My favorite is "Hit something hard!!"
4/16/12
 
tartantoml says:
Usually it's "stop trying to hit it" (so hard), except with the putter then its "you gotta hit it" (deceleration).

I hate this game, I hate this game, "nice shot", I love this game.
4/16/12
 
bobhooe says:
after leaving a putt short "you hit that with your (insert female body part)"
4/16/12
 
sigmapete1 says:
Kind of off theme, but one of my favs....

"Hey did you hear they were going to build a WalMart here?" "really, where?" "The huge space between my drive and yours"

(only appropriate of you are the farther one or course)
4/16/12
 
cvargo says:
My friend that hardly golfs and puts no time into the game "I only need one good shot to bring me back next week"
4/16/12
 
falcon50driver says:
When someone says "I've never played this bad before" I say "You've played before?"
4/16/12
 
DaRupp13 says:
"Funky butt-lovin...FOOOOOOORE RIIIIIIIIIIIIIGHT!!!"

yeah that an on-course DaRupp original unfortunately...
4/16/12
 
cscovil says:
"Bite like a cheap hooker!"
4/16/12
 
mmontisano says:
that was a USA putt. U. Still. Away.
4/16/12
 
KeithH says:
I play with a group of guys that when someone hits a ball that we know is going to be lost, either OB or in a hazard, we don't say anything while we take our caps off and put them over our hearts and pause for a moment to remember the lost ball. It is funny because the guy who just hit the shot is usually starting a rant or asking something like "did it come back?" when he turns around and sees the rest of the foursome. Usually it causes him to just be quiet and pull out another ball or swear at the group.
4/16/12
 
legitimatebeef says:
You hit the big ball first!
4/16/12
 
wrhall02 says:
When it looks good in the air, "Be the right club today!" (ala Sutton)
4/16/12
 
Bryan K says:
"Be the right club today" takes too long. I usually just say "be the club" when I make good contact. It's one of my most common sayings.

I also like throwing a "good out" to someone who has a tough lie but manages to do something (anything) with it.

But the one that I hear the most, and it annoys the hell out of me, is any iteration of "keep your head down", "you pulled your head". Look genius. If I pulled my head, it's the fundamental result of something else being horribly wrong with my swing that usually starts with my front shoulder. And believe me, when it happens, I notice.
4/16/12
 
madmx99 says:
It still has to be "Don't Get Cheated" when you grab your driver...too make sure you swing hard :)
4/16/12
 
madmx99 says:
Oh, also, when a guy skulls a shot short it's "run like you stole something" to get it on the green. A Bob S original.
4/16/12
 
BULL.W.E. says:
"I had uhhh, 1 in the rough-2 in the trees-3,4,5 out of the trees: ah hell, just put me down for a bogey."
4/16/12
 
BAKE_DAWG40 says:
Here's one I got from one of the older guys in our league. After one putting for a double or worse....."That was whipped cream on sh*t!"
4/17/12
 
GolfnDawg says:
"Grow legs" when you short an approach

"Hey, [[insert partners wife, gf, etc here]], does your husand play golf?" when your partner shorts and approach...or putt...or drive..you get the point.

"I think it fell straight down" after pin balling through the trees

"It couldn't have gone that far left/right"
4/17/12
 
DaRupp13 says:
Love that one bake_dawg.
4/17/12
 
GolfnDawg says:
Oh yeah...how can we forget. "That's good, right?" when you don't want to putt that 4 footer in for par...or triple bogey.
4/17/12
 
ppinkert says:
One my buddy and I use when we are short of the green, "It's just a chip and putt."
4/17/12
 
ppinkert says:
A good shot follows a bad one "Why couldn't I do that the first time?"
4/17/12
 
legitimatebeef says:
You might have a shot from there.
4/17/12
 
legitimatebeef says:
Thin to win.
4/17/12
 
Kurt the Knife says:
My faves
forgot to figure in coriolis effect

plate tectonics not helping me today
4/17/12
 
jcstoll says:
I like the back-handed compliment "great shot from where you were". Or when you leave a putt or chip short, you get the "did the club get hung up in your skirt?"
4/17/12
 
Kurt the Knife says:
You're in great shape. For the shape you're in.
4/17/12
 
Torleif Sorenson says:
Years ago (when I could afford to have a car *and* play golf), I snap-hooked a drive not only out-of-bounds, but out of sight. One guy standing on the tee said, "that went so far to the left that not even Hillary Clinton could find that one."
4/17/12
 
billbadaz says:
You know why the game is called golf? All the other 4 letter words were taken!!(after a partner screams a 4 letter obscenity.)
the Saddam Hussein, bunker to bunker....
4/18/12
 
scottccherry says:
When someone still has honors after their first putt, even when on the green - "USGA:" U Suck, Go Again.
4/18/12
 
legitimatebeef says:
Too much L.O.F.T. -- lack of friggin talent
4/18/12
 
larrynjr says:
Get There! after not putting with proper authority
4/18/12
 
erickbelus says:
My personal favorites often used by guys I play with include:

"I'm putting some grass under this" - handy when in a divot in the fairway
"I saw it bounce and stop, it HAS to be here" - while looking for an OB shot
"I'm retaking that shot,(insert random noise) in my backswing"
4/18/12
 
woobwoob says:
"Gonna let the big dog eat" as you pull driver from the bag
"Skirted that one..." as you putt short
"Be enough!" hoping the ball clears a bunker in front of the green
4/18/12
 
larrynjr says:
Nice drive, said sarcastically after putting 10' past the cup.
4/18/12
 
TravisMiller says:
I always like the golf announcers when they used to say "That's a golf shot" when a player hits a good one.
4/18/12
 
jalsing says:
I hit one fat once on a par 3, and the ranger happened to be watching (chatting with my brother, a regular)

He says "You know what your problem is? You're standing too close to the ball....after you hit it!"
4/19/12
 
billbadaz says:
I like when you lip out a putt, then say " Just like Junior Prom, all lip, no hole"
4/20/12
 
DHaden says:
"Run like a sore d**k" said when you hit a worm burner.
4/20/12
 
DoubleDingo says:
This is my favorite to use on those unfortunate souls that clearly hit a triple or quadruple bogey and say to mark them down for a par, bogey or double bogey:

I'll say, "After all that!" They usually stop, recalculate their strokes and if they have a conscious, will adjust their number. I still love saying it, though.
4/24/12
 
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