Twice a year we get together with my wife's oldest brother and his family. A couple of years back, his wife and I cooked up a plan. We figured we'd go play golf, and let the siblings have more time to visit without us getting in the way. Pretty cool of us to be willing to do that, huh?

I like hanging with my SIL, but she's one of those golfers I hate. She claims to have broken 100 the second or third time she played. She played back then with her father, who I know to be a stickler for rules, so I don't think she was getting mulligans left and right. And ... she plays from the men's tees because she can hit the ball upwards of 175+ and didn't want to be bothered with walking to the women's tees when the men were done.

These days she only plays once or twice a year, so you would THINK I would have no trouble besting her score. And, generally she'll score in the 105-110 range, so it's not like she's out of my league golf-wise. But, whenever we play a round, I play even crappier than usual. The last time we played a round, I scored a 112 on the easiest course in the area because I seemed to forget how to hit the ball.

The family likes to joke around about this when we return from our round, and it's really a no-win situation for me. If I win, I've beaten a girl who plays sparingly and was playing from the men's tees. If she wins ... well, it's just more proof that I suck.

We play on Saturday. Wish me luck.

I seem to have a tendency to play up or down to the level of the competition. It really sucks to play with a hacker.

Steve, its the pressure... funny thing, I play better with a bunch of strangers, because they dont know how good or bad I am, and I excel in tournaments for that reason.

With my dad and brother, there is more pressure to beat them, and do well... that I usually end up playing sub-par (not in the subpar i'd like).

What you need to do is disconnect... you're trying so hard to not get beaten by a girl, you're not relaxed and enjoying it.

I usually try not to look at my scores, not PROJECT a score, not think about the last or the next, just chit chat, maybe remember she used to break 100 all the time, and take the pressure off, that she is supposed to beat you, and you're just lucky to be playing.
Usually when I concede (a quad on the first hole) I relax and play some great golf.

If you can find your happy place, you might surprise everyone, including yourself.

Plus, its no fun when you're uptight.
Enjoy it, and let us know how it goes.

Or you could try to put MORE pressure on yourself. Remove an article of clothing every time she beats you on a hole.

mjaber wrote:

Or you could try to put MORE pressure on yourself. Remove an article of clothing every time she beats you on a hole.

It might put her off, you should try it

On a NORMAL day, I'd most likely score right around 100 or possibly lower on the course I've selected for this weekend. I haven't played there since the last time my SIL and I played (11/25/11), but I'm very familiar with the course and it's rated significantly lower than the courses I play more often. I just need to make good tee shots (shorten the backswing if necessary) and not go for the hero shot. It's not a long course, and for the most part it's wide open.

Why are you playing golf? It doesn't matter whether you are beaten by a man or a woman you should be able to say congratulations and look forward to your next time on the course.
I'm afraid you are missing the whole point. Would you have been just as anoyed if the woman was a pro from the PGA. I think not.

joe jones wrote:

Why are you playing golf? It doesn't matter whether you are beaten by a man or a woman you should be able to say congratulations and look forward to your next time on the course. I'm afraid you are missing the whole point. Would you have been just as anoyed if the woman was a pro from the PGA. I think not.

No, sir ... It is you who is missing the point. Whenever I play my SIL, I play crappier than usual, and it bothers me. If I played well and she played well, I wouldn't care if my score was higher than hers. I almost always have the worst score when i play against my friends, and I don't care. I only care that I play well.

And, your analogy of playing an LPGA (which is where women play, not the PGA -- do you watch golf?) pro is ridiculous. I don't expect to play better than many people, but I do expect to play better than someone who doesn't pick up her clubs but once or twice a year,

Hey, play some mind games with her. Play the forward tees. It should be at least interesting for you to play a short course. She loses the advantage of "well I played the men's tee" talk. What do you have to lose? Drive a few greens or at least get close. See how she handles not having a crutch or excuse for her marginal play.

bkuehn1952 wrote:

Hey, play some mind games with her. Play the forward tees. It should be at least interesting for you to play a short course. She loses the advantage of "well I played the men's tee" talk. What do you have to lose? Drive a few greens or at least get close. See how she handles not having a crutch or excuse for her marginal play.

This deserves serious consideration!

I was going to play the lady tees next time i play with a female golfer. Would be interesting.
I'll probably leave my driver and hybrid at home, just play with irons, less distance, more accuracy, that would mess with people

I think its a good exercise to do that type of thing anyways.
A couple of courses have white blue and black, i play white with irons only... makes me work my mid irons more

Sounds like a good challenge Steve. Let's face it though it's not a total no-win situation, winning will feel better than losing. So try your best and leave it all out there. If you stay positive good things can happen in this game.

What if you moved back a set of tees? You said the course is fairly short, and wide open. If you move back a set, you might not shoot that much worse, and you can say "Well, I was playing from the longer tees."

Maybe forget the score, and play straight match play. That can add a different feel to the round. It might keep you more in focus, and lessen the impact of a blow up hole.

All good and nice, but making up excuses is not in the spirit of the game IMHO. It would be best to simply play better.

Let's face it, the only reason you play worse when your SIL is playing with ya sits between your ears. When on the course, don't think about the fact your SIL is there. Don't ignore her, but don't let the situation add pressure to your game.

When it's your time to play, you focus on the shot and on the shot only. You don't play your family, you even don't play against your SIL. No, you play the course. In between shots, take a vacation. Talk / think about the TV show you saw the other day, think back on that terrific pizza place you visited last week, whatever. Just don't think golf.

Have fun, break a leg and who knows, Sunday morning we all can read you won big time!